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How 2 kids helped invent the Wheel of Dreaded Consequences
When David was nine and Laura was twelve, the battles started.
Prior to that, they got along great. Laura was always protective of her little brother, and he in turn, doted on her.
Perhaps it was about needing space, asserting independence whatever the reason, it drove my husband and I crazy. It would start over the tiniest of excuses. One minute the house would be quiet, and the next they'd be shouting at one another.
"Mom, Laura won't give my CD back!"
"It's not yours. It's mine!"
"No it isn't. I got it for Christmas!"
"No you didn't. I did!"
And on and on it would go. Until, finally, one of us would have to intervene. And there would be a trucesort of. At least until the next blowup.
We hated the atmosphere of tension that would invariably follow these exchanges. Our once happy home was being turned into a war zone, and it felt like there were land mines scattered beneath our feet.
One night, in desperation, we had a conference. We called the kids into the living room and told them how upsetting their behavior was. We asked them for suggestions on how we could restore peace and serenity back into the family.
Well, we didn't resolve anything on the spot. We sent them to their rooms with instructions to each come up with a half dozen appropriate consequences that we could impose the next time they had a fight.
The following day we were presented with a list of consequences from each. Some even looked pretty good. Examples: Clean the other person's room; Do dishes for the other person; Make the other person's bed for a week; Lend your favorite CD or game to the other person for a week; Make a list of 10 good things about the other person; Hug and make up.
We decided to arrange the consequences around the perimeter of a board, and then we attached a spinner in the middle. When you gave it a spin, the spinner would eventually stop and point to one of the consequences. Then we hung the board up in the kitchen, in plain sight. We crossed our fingers, and waited.
And waited.
It was amazing. Just the presence of the board, hanging on our kitchen wall, had an instant calming effect on the atmosphere in our home. Occasionally we'd see one of the kids standing in front of the board, idly flicking the spinner, checking it out. But the fighting had stopped.
Well not forever. It took about ten days before they forgot about the board and peace was shattered by another battle.
We were ready.
We called them both into the kitchen, took the board down off the wall, and placed it on the table. They knew what they had to do. How could they refuse? They chose the consequences. They practically invented the board. It landed on the most dreaded consequence of all: Hug and make up!
The tension was broken as they awkwardly gave each other a hug, mumbling apologies. We all had a good laugh, and life resumed.
Maybe we're on to something
Wow, we thought days later when there'd been no further skirmishes if this thing works so well for arguing, what about some of the other issues that we seemed to be always struggling with. Wasting electricity, for example. It seemed like the kids were always leaving the lights on when they left a room. Or they'd leave the TV on when they went to bed. Or they'd take half hour showers. Why not make another wheel with consequences related to wasting electricity?
Well, eventually and inevitably, we ended up making consequences to cover seven different issues, or themes. Excessive Arguing was joined by A Job Poorly Done, Leaving the Lights On, Stretching the Truth, Taking Without Asking, Talking Back, and Not Putting Things Back.
And then, because we felt that extra good behavior should be recognized, we added another theme called Just Desserts, consisting of rewards.
We called it The Wheel of Dreaded Consequences.
It has worked beyond our wildest expectations.
In the past we'd often let behavior slide.
"Davidit's 8:30. Get the dishes done."
"I know." From downstairs where he's watching TV.
"David. It's 9:00. Get these dishes done right now!"
"I know."
Until we'd get angry. And then the consequences would end up being out of proportion to the infraction. And blood pressure would rise, and anger would reign.
"DAVIDGET YOUR BUTT UP HERE RIGHT THIS MINUTE AND GET THOSE DISHES DONE, AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT GOING CAMPING THIS WEEKEND!!!"
But with the wheel
"Davidit's 8:15you haven't started the dishes yet. I'm afraid we'll have to spin the wheel."
"But, Mom"
"I'm sorry, Dear. It's really not up to me. Those are the rules we all agreed on. Gee, I hope you don't land on a really bad consequence."
The amazing thing iswe're no longer the bad guys. We can actually root for the kids as they drag themselves up to the wheel. It's no longer an us against them issue. It's the wheel that they have to answer to.
But the greatest thing of allwe hardly ever have to use the wheel. It hangs on the kitchen wall, acting as a watchdog and reminder. It's mere presence has worked miracles.
We want one too
After sharing our experience with our friends, and demonstrating the wheel to them, we have received widespread encouragement to make them on a commercial basis. Ultimately we thought, why not? It's a great product. We know it works. If it can help others the way it has helped us, it almost seemed a shame not to make them.
We even made a Virtual Wheel - a download version that can be played on the computer. (This is my husband's favorite because he spent so many sleepless nights working on it.)
It's been four years since we had to send them to their rooms, but David and Laura get along great these days. They've both turned into wonderful teens, and we'd like to think that the Wheel shares a huge portion of the credit for that.
kids games online Products we recommend
Cranium Hullabaloo
Cranium Hullabaloo
Cranium Hullabaloo is the surprise-filled, high-energy game that turns bouncing off the walls into bouncing across the room! Players move from one colorful shape to another and use their bodies to perform the many Hullabaloo moves -- touch your nose to a circle, spin to a red, put your elbow on a musical instrument. When Hullabaloo says, "Freeze!" the player on the lucky pad wins! Every few minutes there's a new winner who gets to take a bow, make a victory jump, or do a funky monkey dance. Faster than a scavenger hunt, more creative than Simon Says, and able to make imaginative leaps past musical chairs, Hullabaloo provides hours of fun for any occasion -- birthday parties, play dates, even a rainy day. Ready to play? High-energy game loved by kids of all ages Jump, dance, wiggle, and giggle! Encourages listening and problem solving Thousands of variations for endless fun Easy to play -- just turn it on and go. Includes: A Hullabaloo talking audio console and 16 colorful play pads.
Customer Review: kids LOVE this
This is one of those toys that gets the kids up an moving. Fun music, fun 'rewards' = "do a silly dance". they LOVE it. I am always looking for ways to 'reach' my boy who has autism. This just helps initiate play.
Sorel Little Kid/Big Kid Snow Countess Boot
Sorel Little Kid/Big Kid Snow Countess Boot
Your little Countess will reign, fashionably, comfortably, and safely, in this extra-warm boot from Sorel. Its rip-stop nylon and waterproof leather upper is beautifully accented by contrast stitching and adjustable bungee lacing, and inside is a wonderland of warm, cozy cushioning.
Hasbro Electronic Hyper Slide
Hasbro Electronic Hyper Slide
Be quick, pick the right colored hyper disc, and flick it under the arch before time runs out. The Hyper Slide from Hasbro packs three fast-paced electronic table-top games into one compact unit. Recommended for ages eight and up, these fast-sliding games for one or two players are fun and exciting for kids and adults.
![]() The hyper discs can be conveniently stored in a compartment on the side of the arch. View larger. |
![]() Three fast-paced electronic table-top games in one stylish unit. View larger. |
With its sleek, arched design, Hyper Slide looks like a futuristic game. Resembling a hockey game for a table top, the object is to flip the pucks through the goal. However, in these games the goal can be scored from both sides of the arch, and there are four different-colored pucks, called hyper discs. The game's electronic unit calls out a color, and you must pick that color and sent it through the arc. It automatically detects whether you've passed the right disc or not. When not in operation, the hyper discs can be conveniently stored in a compartment on the side of the arch.
Three Games for Solo Play or Two-Person Play
The Hyper Slide offers a few variations of play for your enjoyment. Two lighted buttons on the top of the Hyper Slide make it easy to choose which of the three games you want to play.
While the objects of the games are simple, playing them can be a fun challenge. The first game, "Fast Pass," is all about speed. The game commands a color and you've got to pass it through the goal quickly before the buzzer blasts. With "Add One," you've got to remember the order of colors. You start with a color and add one to the sequence each time you complete a round. "Code Buster" gives you 90 seconds to decipher the secret series of colors.
Best of all, you can play all these games with a friend or by yourself. With both "Fast Pass" and "Add One," you can even play head-to-head with another player or team. For solo play, the rubber "hyper band" is attached under the arch, bouncing the discs back to your side.
Put to the Test
Playing on any smooth, nonmetal surface, you'll be surprised how much fun the Hyper Slide really is. An announcer's voice, high-energy music, and sound effects move these games along. With your head in the game, you'll soon block out all the noise and only hear the color to flick, slide, or shoot through the arch. Unfortunately, if the constant voice directions are not your thing, the game can't be played without these sounds, nor can the volume be adjusted. On the plus side, the Hyper Slide announces your score at the end of each competition and keeps track of the highest score for each game. This electronic system runs on three "AAA" batteries (sold separately). If the Hyper Slide goes unused for two minutes, this smartly designed toy "goes to sleep," saving battery life until the player buttons are pressed.
Pros
- 3 fast-paced games for 2-person and solo play
- Lighted buttons make it easy to switch through games
- Games remember high scores
- Electronic game shuts off on its own
- Game must be played with announcer and music going
- Volume can't be controlled
Hyper Slide electronic game, hyper band, and 4 hyper discs.
Customer Review: Lots of fun
This is a really fast-paced game, and the children (ages 8-12) have really enjoyed it. I have, too! They've only played it a few times since Christmas, so I can't speak to the product's durability, but it appears to be well constructed, and the puck holder is a godsend (if my kids can lose something, they will).
SanDisk Sansa Shaker 1 GB MP3 Player (Blue)
SanDisk Sansa Shaker 1 GB MP3 Player (Blue)
The Sansa Shaker features many ways to listen to and share your favorite songs. It has a built-in speaker to enjoy music without headphones, to play your tunes and listen with your friends. Plus, it comes with two headphone jacks. The built-in SD card slot gives you the ability to play and share SD cards loaded with your favorite songs. The Sansa Shaker comes equipped with a USB cable, lanyard, pre-loaded songs and a colorful array of stickers so you can customize your player. One AAA battery let's you play up to 15 hours of music when using headphones.
Customer Review: Perfect for young kids
I bought one of these for my 5 year old and my 2 year old for Christmas. They love this little music player! The headphones were too big for their ears, so we just bought some cheap over the ear headphones. However, since this has a built in speaker, they spend most of their time just listening to the music through the speaker. Even my 2 year old has figured out how to use this.
Fred BOOST
Fred BOOST
When Junior needs a little Boost at the table, just reach for the Yellow Pages. Our version is made from light-weight, soft, durable, form-fitting foam. Kids from age 3 will happily rise to the occasion.
All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome
All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome
All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome takes a playful look at Asperger Syndrome (AS), drawing inspiration from the feline world in a way that will strike a chord with all those who are familiar with AS.
Delightful color photographs of cats bring to life familiar characteristics such as sensitive hearing, scampering at the first sign of being stroked and particular eating habits.
Touching, humorous and insightful, this book evokes the difficulties and joys of raising a child who is different and leaves the reader with a sense of the dignity, individuality and potential of people with AS.
This engaging book is an ideal, gentle introduction to the world of AS.
Customer Review: A "must have" book...
What a gem!!!! My 8 year old has Aspergers along with a variety of other physical and mental health issues. He has had an affinity for cats since an early age, and I bought this book as a way to help him feel good about himself....it is worth every penny!! Beautifully written and illustrated (absolutely spot-on photography!!), there are just enough words to provide the reader with an overview of what it feels like to suffer from this isolating disorder, yet it also presents the affliction in such a way that my child does not feel like an outsider...with its humorous approach, it allows him to identify with a living, breathing creature (the cat) that is acceptable to others, therefore giving him away to communicate to others that while he is certainly different, he is not a "wierdo" as he sometimes gets called by those uneducated/uninformed about Aspergers and its unique/quaint associated manifestations. This book will long remain a favorite...he shows it to those he wants to help understand how he feels, and so far there has been an overwhelmingly positive response!! I believe that even if a child is not ready to share his/her challenges with others, this book can provide comfort to them...it can also be used by the parent to educate others about how the child views life around them.
There are no lengthy explanations or detailed discourses regarding Aspergers in this book, but again, that is not the intention of the book.... this picture-loaded book is designed to be simple and help both the child and those around him/her feel more at ease with the way Aspergers children interpret life and act upon their feelings. Great addition to your library!!
What's the Big Secret?: Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys
What's the Big Secret?: Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys
"If you're having trouble talking to your children about sex--knowing what to say and when to say it--then here is the book for you.The talented team who created the acclaimed Dino Life Guides for Families is ready to help. With characteristic sensitivity, they present answers to tough questions.Here is an introduction to sex along with the ways girls and boys differ...and are the same.What's the Big Secret is the beginning of one of the most important conversations you and your child will have."
Customer Review: Great Book- gave to my 8 year old son
I had my son to read this book- I read thru it first, and then I gave it to him to read on his own. When he was finished, I asked if he had any questions, and opened the room for discussion. I feel this book was very helpful in answering everything he was curious about- it was just the right amount of straight forward, yet age appropriate information.
Gamecube Controller Platinum
Gamecube Controller Platinum
The Platinum GameCube Controller delivers clasic GameCube design and better control of the action, for all your favorite GameCube games!
Customer Review: The controller!
When I got a Wii I never though I really needed my Gamecube controllers anymore so I got rid of them. However with Brawl coming out I missed the feel and cushion of Melee's control set up!
Without a doubt it's a great buy! Feels great, looks great, plays great.
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